


Jaded

by kelpie_flavored



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Memory Loss, Temporary Character Death, The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Meat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22566532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelpie_flavored/pseuds/kelpie_flavored
Summary: Rosebot powers on and off a lot.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Kudos: 17





	Jaded

**Author's Note:**

> read the tags please <3

Rose’s brain swirls in a constant pattern of hatred and confusion all bottled up in a vessel too small. Longing, reaching out for what she once had. She can feel nothing but the fear. Fear that she’ll never see her wife again. That she may never be her real self.

Every thought of her hurts like hell. Every time she longs to be free pains her. This body wasn’t made for her ultimate self, not really. It’s made of pain. It’s her shell, her prison, she’s being trapped to play out a universe and idea that is not hers. She struggles.

She cares about Dirk, he’s. Something to her. A relative of sorts. But he’s trapped her.

Why is she here why is she here.

Something zaps through her body and she can’t quite think clearly for a few seconds.

She focuses on Kanaya. Kanaya. Does she know Rose is gone? Does she think Rose has abandoned her? She struggles against the mental binds again and again. She can’t think she can’t think.

She feels a sense of guilt and remorse. She should not be here, floating through space, millions of miles away from home. From Kanaya. From her friends. Her family. It’s all gone in a second though.

Her thoughts are forced to a stop for a while.

You don’t really make a robot you can’t control.

Idle everything.

Whatever she was needed for is over. Her thoughts are hers again. They rush back.

Robots can’t cry, but she sure tries. Glitches to hell.

Dirk makes some emergency repairs.

Mental binds tightened so she can’t try that again.

She’s only granted the liberty of being allowed to think about Kanaya when he’s clear with her and sure she won’t mess with her controls.

Terezi’s cackling giggles sometimes break things up. Like she can think of other things than her purpose, her million universes, the thought of eternity. It’s a refresher.

Her laugh is compared to the sound of scratching, scraping metal and Rose gets an idea.

The pliers next to her.

It’s not hard to make her own repairs to an already broken system. She’ll take anything at thing point to stop for a second. No system processes, please.

It takes weeks to power her back online. All the wires torn up and out of place. 

Dream bubble memories shut down, she heard the raspy yells. They echo outside of just Terezi. All the ghosts terrified of what came next. The story was over and had no use of them.

She remembers grasping for her own hand.

She’s blind for a few days until Dirk ‘ungrounds her’ so to say. She cannot be trusted with power tools. Still. It was nice to be away.

She misses her own body.

She misses. She can’t quite remember who she misses. 

That feels wrong but her body makes her mind disregard it.

Green.

No.

Maybe?

It feels. Related. A wonderful shade of.

Jade-green.

She feels anxiety in her nonexistent mechanical heart.

She looks down and she swears she has the phantom sensation of a hand on hers.

She misses that shade of Jade-green.

Yeah.

That feels kind of right.

Rosebot disregards it.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @kelpieinfestedwaters  
> if u have femslash ideas pls tell me em :D  
> also i wrote this very quickly so please tell me if u see mistakes


End file.
